Steve Middleton Whose Story was Featured In The Bbc Televesion Documentary - '' Lost For Words ''

My Starfish Story
There have been quite a few occasions recently when people who I know, have asked me, 'Steve how have you gained this control over your stammer'?
                                                                                                                                                          When talking to these people, using 'Technique' I know all they are thinking about is why I am not moving like I used to. I think most people are too embarrassed to ask me so I usually make a point of saying it for them! (Explaining all about Starfish).
                                                                                                                                                               "it really hit home, actually facing up to the fact that I have got this severe stammer"
After living with a severe stammer for 20 years and actually finding a way in which I can control it, is a dream come true, Especially the body movements I had.
                                                                                                                                                              Just this year it really hit home, actually facing up to the fact that I have got this severe stammer. After hiding away from it most of my life and not really worrying about it, was not what I wanted to go on doing. At this point in my life more then ever, because 5 years after leaving college, I knew to get where I want to go takes a lot of talking to people.
                                                                                                                                                                  I am a D.J and music producer, these are not the easiest of jobs to get into, so this is when I really didn’t need this stammer, especially the movements I had whenever I talked.
                                                                                                                                                                  I was going through a low patch, and I was willing to try anything to help. After several trips to see my G.P he arranged for me to see a neurologist in a special hospital in London. This would detect what was going on in my brain when I talked and what triggers my body to move in abrupt ways. After several intense days of tests, scans, experiments etc they still did not know why I had these movements when I talked ( yeah right )!
                                                                                                                                                           "what was actually going on inside me when I talked, if neurologists didn’t know then who does?"
The doctor said he has never seen a case like mine, never seen someone who moves when they talk and not move when they don’t talk. This heightened my worry of what was actually going on inside me when I talked, if neurologists didn’t know then who does?
                                                                                                                                                              This doctor said he could prescribe me a course of drugs that he thought ‘MIGHT’ help me. These he told me were strong drugs, which could have long-term side effects, drowsiness and which could end up being addictive. He said they might not work but its entirely up to me if I want to start on this course of drugs. (Tempting)!
                                                                                                                                                                  I thought about this and decided to start on the drugs, I was at a stage now where I was willing to try anything.
                                                                                                                                                                   I went and saw my G.P; he was sent the list of drugs that I was going to start with. This doctor wanted me to start on this one particular drug for a couple of weeks, which was called ‘Rivotril’ (Clonazepam). The idea was to start off with a low dosage to take when I went to bed because it was very sedative, and could make me drowsy, and to build up the dosage gradually and to start on the other prescribed drugs. After starting on these drugs, they made me quite poorly, having bad stomach pains.
                                                                                                                                                                      "has more understanding and passion about stammering then anyone I have ever talked to"
This is when I was on the net, and came across the ‘Starfish Project’. I phoned Anne and asked to be booked on the nearest course /or any cancellation. I spoke to Anne on several occasions leading up to my course and we had some good in depth chats about the course and how it would effect me, I told Anne about the other problem I had which was my body movements and I felt I am actually talking to someone who, yes has never stammered but has more understanding and passion about stammering then anyone I have ever talked to concerning stammering.
                                                                                                                                                              Anne made me feel very at ease, and for someone who I had never met, I felt I could say anything.
Previous to this I got a letter from the BBC stating they were going to make a documentary about stammering and were after volunteers to be involved with the programme. I was very, very sceptical about this, to stammer on national T.V sent my stomach churning!
                                                                                                                                                            Anne phoned me and told me the BBC had contacted her and would it be all right for Anne to pass on my number, to have a chat with the producer, I said yes.
                                                                                                                                                            After chatting with the guys from the BBC, we decided that they would come down to my house and have a chat about the programme and what it was all about. (How nervous am I)!
                                                                                                                                                           After meeting the producers (Nic and Gabby) who were very nice and understanding people. They gave me some time to think about it, and to take it all in. I was still so nervous about the whole thing I phoned up Gabby and they said they would come down from London and have another talk to me face to face. They wanted to film me before the course, on the course, and after the course. After a lot of discussion I decided to go ahead with the filming. It was either don’t do it and think somewhere down the line should I have done that? Or just go for it.
                                                                                                                                                             They started to film me first of all in interviews then out and about in my normal every day life, I entered a d.j competition some weeks before they contacted me and I got through the 1st heats and was in to the Bar-Med final, they filmed me D.J’ing on this competition, and I managed to get through these heats and get to the regional final.
                                                                                                                                                               As the winner I had to make a speech live in front of the audience and all the film crew!
It was the day before the course on a Tuesday they came again, we were going to do a day of filming then drive up to the course together that night, stay at the hotel then the course starts early Wednesday morning.
                                                                                                                                                                  I was feeling really nervous at this time not just about the filming, but about the course, and what it would be like to meet all the other people, and to meet Anne for the first time. Especially after talking to Anne on the phone several times previous to the course I felt I had known her for years!
When the course started I didn’t know what to expect. I had no idea it was about a breathing technique, being on NHS courses in the past I thought it was going to be similar to this i.e. pro-longed speech etc. This in the past has yes helped me to a degree but has had no long-term change on me.
                                                                                                                                                               As the course went on I was getting more and more focused, bit ropey at first, because I was letting myself get angry when I got blocked on certain words, but soon really got into technique and was really working at it.
                                                                                                                                                                   I felt a bit pressured on the course having a film crew there and having a microphone strapped to me, but this wasn’t all bad because if I could handle this pressure in there then I was sure it would help me when I left to use it out in my every day life.
"I was getting control over my speech and subsequently was not moving"
It wasn’t until Anne arranged for me to watch my first day video, I realised how far I had come. I was getting very emotional at this point; I was getting control over my speech and subsequently was not moving.
There were times on the course when I really did just want to burst out in tears, but instead kept on holding back and getting the lumps in my throat where I just wanted to ball my eyes out.
After the second day I didn’t want to say anything was so nervous of losing what I had gained. I was speaking with control and was not moving! I just didn’t want it to go away. By the last day of the course I was overwhelmed with myself, having all this control, I never thought this would happen.
Going into Eastbourne on the last day was brilliant I was talking to people and asking for items such as leaflets, magazines etc and no one even knew I had a stammer! It was also quite a weird feeling having the film crew rushing around me with a big camera, mic’ boom, stand, and producers.
It was the end of the course and the producers wanted to do an interview with Anne, and then myself. This went very well I was using good technique and talking without stammering and body movements, how good did I feel!
                                                                                                                                                                Leaving the hotel and saying goodbye to the people who have helped me make this happen I thought I could hold myself back from getting too emotional, but this kind of went out the window!
Couldn’t stop crying from leaving the hotel to getting home! (Felt a lot better)!
                                                                                                                                                              Arriving home, and seeing family and friends also proved to be quite emotional, trying to explain the course is quite difficult, People have actually got to experience it to know and understand what its all about. Friends and family couldn’t believe the difference in my speech and especially my body movements. Started to find it hard using this technique in front of people, this is when I pulled everyone together, stood up and made a speech about the course and what I have to do and what they can do to help me. This felt great too, felt like more blocks have been taken off my shoulders and I can really start putting this into practice.
                                                                                                                                                              The film crew were involved in my recovery too. Anne showed them all what they could do to help me, I found this very helpful especially in doing interviews after the course, plus they were all on the course so they knew exactly what it was about and what I have to do. It was so much better doing interviews after the course. I had something I didn’t have previous to the course ‘CONTROL’. In interviews previous to Starfish I had a glass of water and a towel, beside me, because I would be sweating so much. Now I was having interviews with no water, no towel, no sweating, just wearing my belt around my chest and having good technique.
                                                                                                                                                            There are times when my speech does not go the way I want, and as a result I have head movements. But it is nowhere near what I was like pre-starfish. I feel I have moved mountains with my speech and my body movements, but there is still a long way to go. I feel as though I am part of a life long team. Knowing that when I do have not so good days, there are people on the phone list who are there for me 24/7.
                                                                                                                                                               "This life-long support is what really makes Starfish what it is"
                                                                                                                                                               But, not just for when I have bad days, they are there if I want to ring up and just have a chat, using the best technique. This life-long support is what really makes Starfish what it is. Just knowing that there are all these special people you can talk to who not only understand, but also have walked down exactly the same road as me.
                                                                                                                                                              The Starfish Project has changed my life for good. It has given me a way to control something that has had control over me for 20 years. I love going back on the Starfish courses to see and talk to the people who have helped me so much, helping the new people gives me a brilliant feeling, and it helps me to help them!
                                                                                                                                                                 Thanks to the Starfish Project I have not only gained a way in which I can achieve effortless speech, but have also made not only good close friends, but also soul mates.

Special thanks to Anne, David and family, Nigel Ford, Hayley Sutton, Brian Boyle, Phillip Baugh, Michael Wyant, and everyone who has helped me on the course and on the phone list .xx
(and also to the film crew, Nic, Gabby, Nanu, and Simon who have been great.)
                                                                                                                                                                       The programme went out at a peak viewing time, on a November Tuesday on BBC1 at 9.00pm. I am so nervous! I only hope it made people more aware of stammering and helped and encouraged other people who have a stammer who wish to gain control over it.
                                                                                                                                                                  By Steve MiddletonAdapted from originally material developed by the the star fish project.

Click here to see Steve's Story as featured in the BBC television documentary - 'Lost for Words'

The Tricks Of Stammeing

By Ray Connolly, 
Research from America has revealed that stammerers have different shaped brains from the rest of us. Scientists at Tulane University, New Orleans, recently discovered that stammerers had significantly larger left and right temporal lobes (the area of the brain used in language and speech) than non-stammerers.
This new research could have significant impact on understanding a problem which has baffled the medical profession for centuries. Here, The Beatles' biographer Ray Connolly welcomes the news and describes how stammering has affected his life . . .
For as long as I can remember I've stammered, and although it interferes with my life hardly at all today, and I can speak in public or go on radio or TV without problem, the bleak memories of a boyhood of tongue-tied, face-contorted frustration never fade.
A recent survey among stammers said that 83 per cent of them were bullied at school because of their stammer. Well, perhaps I was luckier than most. My memories of being picked on by other boys are few, and there would usually be loyal classmates to take my side if it did happen.
                                                                                                                                                               But there was no one to support you when a teacher chose to ingratiate himself in front of the class with a joke at your expense. 'It's C-C-CC-Connolly, isn't it,' said Mr Rogan, our Latin master.
'Connolly, if you knew the answer you wouldn't be doing all that hesitating. Sit down,' said Mr Pilkington in chemistry.
Mr Wainwright attempted to unlock my disfluency by knocking my head from my shoulders, first to the left and then to the right.
I remember, too, being ignored, never invited to read out anything in class, and rarely being asked questions.
All that happened more than 40 years ago. I like to think teachers are more understanding nowadays, though I bet not all of them are.
At the time I had, I'm sure, all the attention that any stammerer could have hoped for. A whole army attended on me: an elocutionist, a speech therapist, even a psychiatrist, which was considered very dubious in those days.
The trouble was, while I would become fluent with the speech therapist, I wouldn't be able to ask for my fare on the bus home.
I realise that what I was doing to overcome the stammer in her presence was learning to act. And over the years, I got very good at it.
I suppose, by most standards, I should consider myself a success story as far as stammering is concerned. But even though I might be able to fool others, I don't fool myself.
                                                                                                                                                                             Inside I know I'm a stammerer, full of tricks, disguises and avoidance techniques which give the appearance of
relative fluency, changing the word I intend to say at the last second, adding a dramatic hesitation in the middle of a sentence.
True, I may be able to speak with ease and confidence in professional and social situations, but the person who does that isn't the real me - it's a self-creation.
Even though I still can't read publicly to save my life, I made a funny, confident, offthe-cuff speech at my daughter Louise's wedding last year, which was probably the most emotional moment of my life.
When holding a microphone in a public place, I'm as fluent as anyone. Unknown to me until this week, this is a technique known as delayed auditory feedback, and is well known to speech therapists.
This fluent guy with the microphone is not, however, the father Louise knows at home. That's where I stammer most; when I'm totally relaxed, when I'm just being me.
                                                                                                                                                                    The biggest difficulty I have is saying my son's name, Kieron. I should have called him Bill.
Of course, there's always the nag of a worry that my stammer will return in force in full one day, to blight my dotage as it wrecked my childhood.
I don't know whether the scientists in New Orleans have discovered something which will radically change the way stammerers are treated.
I imagine it could well lead to changes in the way speech therapists approach their role - accepting perhaps that there will always be a basic stammer caused by neurological factors, but working at the anxiety which exaggerates that stammer so much.
In the meantime, publication of the research findings might begin to help alter the way stammerers are perceived. Perhaps, one day, even morons such as the employment agent in New York who, on hearing me stammer, said, 'D'you have a speech defect? Outside!', will take a deep breath, and think twice before they speak.
Something every stammerer in the world has been told to do - even though it never works.

Read Tiger Woods Encouraging Letter To An Athlete Who Was Bullied Because Of His Stutter

The Encouraging letter Tiger Woods recently wrote to a young athlete who stutters has been made public, and it's quite thoughtful and touching. Golf Digest originally reported last month on former LPGA Tour player Sophie Gustafson mentoring a bullied high school student who shares her speech disorder. At the request of the boy's mother, Golf Digest writer Ron Sirak reached out to Woods, who overcame his stutter as a child. Woods came through with a note of support, the contents of which were not revealed until Golf Digest published the letter on Tuesday."I know what it?s like to be different and to sometimes not fit in. I also stuttered as a child and I would talk to my dog and he would sit there and listen until he fell asleep," Woods wrote. "I also took a class for two years to help me." Toward the end he urged the boy, Dillon, "to be well and keep fighting.

Eight Tips For Teachers

1. Don’t tell the student “slow down” or “ just relax.”

2. Don’t complete words for the student or talk for him or her.
3. Help all members of the class learn to take turns talking and listening. All students — and especially those who stutter — find it much easier to talk when there are few interruptions and they have the listener’s attention.
4. Expect the same quality and quantity of work from the student who stutters as the one who doesn’t.
5. Speak with the student in an unhurried way, pausing frequently.
6. Convey that you are listening to the content of the message, not how it is said.
7. Have a one-on-one conversation with the student who stutters about needed accommodations in the classroom. Respect the student’s needs, but do not be enabling.
8. Don’t make stuttering something to be ashamed of. Talk about stuttering just like any other matter.
Compiled by Lisa Scott, Ph.D., The Florida State University

 

 

Adapted from originally material developed by stuttering foundation of america.

Rocket Science's Jeffrey Blitz Interview

Jeffrey Blitz, writer and director of Rocket Science, answers SFA questions.
Q: Is there one incident in your childhood that inspired you to write the screenplay for Rocket Science?
A: There wasn't a single incident that inspired Rocket Science but there was one moment that I kept in mind as I wrote. When I was a high school sophomore, I went to my first debate tournament. I blocked on my very first word and stayed blocked on it for the entire 8 minutes I was allocated. I tried to never forget the frustration (and, in a dark way, the humor) of that moment.
Q: What has been your reaction over the years to the many movies that display people who stutter in a negative light?
A: To be honest, I never took it personally. It always seemed ridiculous to me the way stuttering was used ' as a kind of metaphor for a bigger problem in any character. How many movies do we have to see where the seemingly weak kid with a stutter turns out to be the killer before that idea starts to seem idiotic. I mean, if the hollywood version of stuttering was true then we'd all be in jail for murder. But, to be fair, stupid hollywood movies treat everyone except supermodels in a negative light. Yes, stutterers get the short end of the stick, but so do many other sorts of people. I think it says more about bad and thoughtless filmmaking than anything else.
Q: What thoughts were going through your head when/if you watched A Fish Called Wanda?
A: I actually really enjoyed A Fish Called Wanda when I saw it years ago. The whole movie is over-the-top including the portrait of the stutterer. I know that many stutterers hate that movie but I somehow never felt personally savaged by it. I just remember laughing really hard through most of it.
Q: Do you want people in the industry to work to foster more positive portrayals of people who stutter in film and television?
A: I think this is actually a dangerous kind of wish. I don't think any group should be treated such that all you see is a positive portrait. What I hope for is more honest portrayals of life in general. For myself, I don't need to see a stutterer succeed in a movie as much as I want to see a stutterer experience life as I know it to be. Realism is the more important goal, I think.
Q: You, no doubt, have gotten many personal responses as a result of Rocket Science. What is the one that stands out most in your mind?
A: Well, I love it when stutterers tell me that I've captured something essential about the experience of stuttering. That always lands well for me. My favorite response came when the movie played at the Edinburgh Film Festival and one young stutterer came up after and said that the only thing that would have made the movie better was if two people stuttered in it and not just one!
Q: Did you get any negative feedback from people who stutter and if so, what was the general gripe?
A: Before Rocket Science came out, I read some hilariously negative stuff on stuttering boards where some people worked themselves into a froth imagining on the basis of just the 2 minute trailer that the lead character didn't have a real stutter, that this was yet another bogus portrait of stuttering and that they'd skip the movie. I get it that people are sensitive about this but what about waiting until you've actually seen the movie before judging it? Luckily for me, I think most stutterers who actually see it really like it.
Q: What has been the reaction of your childhood friends and peers to the movie, and to you after its release?
A: One old friend said, I had no idea it was so hard for you. Another said, I didn't realize it was all so funny to you at the time. So you just never know. But the truth of it is that the movie is only vaguely autobiographical. It's not meant to be the literal truth of my life as a teen, just an artful extrapolation from that.
Q: If you could give a simple message to high school kids who stutter, what would it be?
A: Sometimes you want to cut out those parts of yourself that are frustrating or painful or make you different. But those parts are as responsible as the good and easy is for who you are. Stuttering makes you who you are and it can inspire some great things. It's because of stuttering that I got involved in debate, that I developed a passion for words and reading, that I found myself drawn into the power of film. I am who I am because of my stuttering and I'm finally very glad for that. When you're blocking on a word, you wish it gone. But when you step back and look at the big picture there are some great things that come along with stuttering.
Q: Do you anticipate doing any more movies with characters who stutter?
A: I think my next movies won't be autobiographical at all so I don't have plans to revisit that. But you never know.
Q: What do you think of treatment for stuttering ?
A: Well, in the movie, Hal Hefner, my main character, gets no real help for his stuttering. I have been lucky enough to work with some excellent people and have made some gains in my speech because of them. I know that some people believe that you should just work to accept stuttering and not try to 'fixƒ? it. That's never been my approach. I'm kind of a born fighter when it comes to this stuff, and I like trying to lick a problem even if it's thought to be unlickable. I think most anything's attainable if you're dedicated enough.

Adapted from originally material developed by stuttering foundation of america.

Stammering Story Of Joe Biden

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As the current Vice President of the United States, Joe Biden is required to speak in public at high-profile events more often than most. It’s no secret that Vice President Biden has struggled with a stutter throughout his life, but it makes it all the more impressive and inspiring that he has risen to the second-highest office you can possibly hold in the United States.
Joseph Robinette Biden, Jr., was born November 20, 1942, in Scranton, Pennsylvania, the first of four siblings. In 1953, the Biden family moved from Pennsylvania to Claymont, Delaware. He went on to graduate from the University of Delaware and Syracuse Law School. At age 29, he became one of the youngest people ever elected to the United States Senate.
Vice President Biden served as a Senator from Delaware for 36 years. He was the Chairman or Ranking Member of the Senate Judiciary Committee for 17 years, and the Chairman or Ranking Member of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee from 1997 until his time in the Senate came to an end. He currently serves as the 47^th Vice President of the United States.
Before his rise in politics, though, Biden dealt with stuttering throughout his childhood and into his twenties. According to a February 2015 article from CNN, the issue of stuttering came up recently during a stop at a coffee shop in Des Moines, when Biden spoke with a mother about her daughter's experience in Head Start, the government program to provide early education and nutrition services for low-income Americans.
"She has a speech problem... she likes to leave off the beginning part of words...Through Head Start she's been able to learn how to talk to us, how to communicate, how to be civil," the mother said, noting that her daughter received speech therapy at Drake. At that point, Biden acknowledged his own childhood struggle with stuttering, as he has done publicly many times.
Vice President Biden spoke about how difficult it was to overcome his stutter in a 2010 appearance on ABC's The View. In 2011, he wrote an essay for People Magazine on his experience:
                                                                                                                                                                         “I never had professional therapy, but a couple of nuns taught me to put a cadence to my speaking, and that's why I spent so much time reading poetry – Emerson and Yeats,“ Biden wrote. “But even in my small, boys' prep school, I got nailed in Latin class with the nickname Joe Impedimenta. You get so desperate, you're so embarrassed. “
Vice President Biden is an inspiration to those who stutter, proving that struggling with stuttering does not have to hinder your personal success.
At a 25th anniversary gala for The Lab School of Washington, Biden told the audience, “God’s gift to me was my stuttering,” he said. But he also warned, “Don’t let your learning disability define you.”
As a child, Biden worked on relieving his stuttering by reciting poetry in front of the mirror while monitoring his facial reactions. Overcoming the disability and the outcast status it gave him made him that much stronger and more empathetic later in life, he noted.
“Time and time again, my parents taught me that being different is no barrier to success,” Biden said. “And the measure of a man isn’t how often he is knocked down but how quickly he gets up.”
In May 2015, Vice President Biden sent a letter to the Stuttering Foundation of America in celebration of the Foundation’s annual Lotos Club Gala. He offered up some valuable advice to those struggling with stuttering:
“If I could share one piece of advice with all of those struggling with a stutter, it would be this: When you commit yourself to a goal and when you persevere in the face of struggle, you will discover new strengths and skills to help you overcome not only this challenge, but future life challenges as well. I promise you – you have nothing to be ashamed of, and you have every reason to be proud.”                                                       Adapted from originally material developed by stuttering foundation of america.

Stuttering Story Of Champion Tiger Woods

Eldrick “Tiger” Woods is one of the most successful golfers of all time. Woods was a child prodigy who began to play golf at two years old. At age three, Woods shot a 48 over nine holes at the Navy Golf Club in Cypress, Calif., and at age 5, he appeared in Golf Digest and on ABC's That's Incredible.
                                                                                                                                                            Woods turned professional at age 20 during the summer of 1996; by April of 1997, he had already won his first major, the 1997 Masters, by 12 strokes. Woods has broken numerous golf records - he held the world number one spot for the most consecutive weeks, and for the greatest total number of weeks of any golfer in history. He has been awarded PGA Player of the Year a record 11 times, and he has amassed more career major wins and career PGA Tour wins than any other active golfer.
His competitive nature and will to work hard also helped him through his struggle with stuttering. In an interview on CBS’ 60 Minutes in 2009, Woods shared what was so challenging about dealing with stuttering growing up: “You’re always called upon in elementary school to give speeches, or to answer a question,” Woods said. “A simple question was the most frightening thing you could possibly have happen if you can’t speak. I could certainly think it, and it was there, but the connection – the words got lost somewhere between the brain and the mouth, and it was very difficult. But I fought through it. I went to school to try and get over that, and I would just work my tail off.”
In May 2015, Golf Digest published a story about a young boy named Dillon who struggled with stuttering, how the cruelty of other children had affected him, and how professional golfer Sophie Gustafson was trying to help. Golf Digest also mentioned that Dillon is a huge Tiger Woods fan. The story went viral, and word quickly spread to Woods himself.
Woods then sent Dillon a letter sharing his own struggle with stuttering and encouraging Dillon to persevere. Woods said he was proud of Dillon, and added that he understood what Dillon was going through: “I know what it’s like to be different and to sometimes not fit in. I also stuttered as a child and I would talk to my dog and he would sit there and listen until he fell asleep. I also took a class for two years to help me, and I finally learned to stop. I was younger than most of the kids I competed against and often I was the only minority player in the field. But, I didn’t let that stop me, and I think it even inspired me to work harder. I know you can do that too. You have a great family, and big fans like me on your side. Be well and keep fighting. I’m certain you’ll be great at anything you do.”
Woods turned a lifelong challenge into a motivating force that pushed him to work even harder to accomplish his goals.  His words of encouragement to a young fan serve as a reminder to all of us in the stuttering       community to always persevere, and to never give up on our dreams.                                                 Adapted from originally material developd by stuttering foundation of america.

Use Maximum Body Language In The Conversation

Body language

Body language is a kind of nonverbal communication, where thoughts, intentions, or feelings are expressed by physical behaviors, such as facial expressions, body posture, gestures, eye movement, touch and the use of space. Body language exists in both animals and humans, but this article focuses on interpretations of human body language. It is also known as kinesics.
Body language must not be confused with sign language, as sign languages are full languages like spoken languages and have their own complex grammar systems, as well as being able to exhibit the fundamental properties that exist in all languages. Body language, on the other hand, does not have a grammar and must be interpreted broadly, instead of having an absolute meaning corresponding with a certain movement, so it is not a language like sign language, and is simply termed as a "language" due to popular culture.
In a community, there are agreed-upon interpretations of particular behavior.                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Interpretations may vary from country to country, or culture to culture. On this note, there is controversy on whether body language is universal. Body language, a subset of nonverbal communication, complements verbal communication in social interaction. In fact some researchers conclude that nonverbal communication accounts for the majority of information transmitted during interpersonal interactions. It helps to establish the relationship between two people and regulates interaction, but can be ambiguous. Hence, it is crucial to accurately read body language to avoid misunderstanding in social interactions.

Contents

Physical movement

Facial expression

Facial expression is integral when expressing emotions through the body. Combinations of eyes, eyebrow, lips and cheek movements help form different moods of an individual (e.g. happy, sad, depressed, angry, etc.).
A few studies show that facial expression and bodily expression (i.e. body language) are congruent when interpreting emotions. Behavioural experiments have also shown that recognition of facial expression is influenced by perceived bodily expression. This means that the brain processes the other's facial and bodily expressions simultaneously.Subjects in these studies showed accuracy in judging emotions based on facial expression. This is because the face and the body are normally seen together in their natural proportions and the emotional signals from the face and body are well integrated.

Body postures

Emotions can also be detected through body postures. Research has shown that body postures are more accurately recognised when an emotion is compared with a different or neutral emotion. For example, a person feeling angry would portray dominance over the other, and his/her posture displays approach tendencies. Comparing this to a person feeling fearful: he/she would feel weak, submissive and his/her posture would display avoidance tendencies, the opposite of an angry person.
Sitting or standing postures also indicate one’s emotions. A person sitting till the back of his/her chair, leans forward with his/her head nodding along with the discussion implies that he/she is open, relaxed and generally ready to listen. On the other hand, a person who has his/her legs and arms crossed with the foot kicking slightly implies that he/she is feeling impatient and emotionally detached from the discussion.
In a standing discussion, a person stands with arms akimbo with feet pointed towards the speaker could suggest that he/she is attentive and is interested in the conversation.                                                                                                                                                                                                                          However, a small difference in this posture could mean a lot. For example, if the same person has his/her leg crossed over the other, and places his/her entire balance on one leg, this suggests a more casual attitude.
Open and expansive nonverbal posturing can also have downstream effects on testosterone and cortisol levels, which have clear implications for the study of human behavior

Gestures

Gestures are movements made with body parts (e.g. hands, arms, fingers, head, legs) and they may be voluntary or involuntary. Arm gestures can be interpreted in several ways. In a discussion, when one stands or sits with folded arms, this is normally not a welcoming gesture. It could mean that he/she has a closed mind and is most likely unwilling to listen to the speaker’s viewpoint. Another type of arm gesture also includes an arm crossed over the other, demonstrating insecurity and a lack of confidence.Hand gestures often signify the state of well-being of the person making them. Relaxed hands indicate confidence and self-assurance, while clenched hands may be interpreted as signs of stress or anger. If a person is wringing his/her hands, this demonstrates nervousness and anxiety.
                                                                                                                                                                   Finger gestures are also commonly used to exemplify one’s speech as well as denote the state of well-being of the person making them. In certain cultures, pointing using one’s index finger is deemed acceptable. However, pointing at a person may be viewed as aggressive in other cultures - for example, people who share Hindu beliefs consider finger pointing offensive. Instead, they point with their thumbs.likewise, the thumbs up gesture could show “OK” or “good” in countries like the US, France and Germany. But this same gesture is insulting in other countries like Iran, Bangladesh and Thailand, where it is the equivalent of showing the middle finger in the US.

Handshakes

Handshakes are regular greeting rituals and are commonly done on meeting, greeting, offering congratulations or after the completion of an agreement. They usually indicate the level of confidence and emotion level in people. Studies have also categorised several handshake styles,e.g. the finger squeeze, the bone crusher (shaking hands too strongly), the limp fish (shaking hands too weakly), etc. Handshakes are popular in the US and are appropriate for use between men and women. However, in Muslim cultures, men may not shake hands or touch women in any way and vice versa. Likewise, in Hindu cultures, Hindu men may never shake hands with women. Instead, they greet women by placing their hands as if praying.

Tone of voice

Tone of voice is a combination of spoken language and body language.
The manner in which something is said can affect how it should be interpreted. Shouting, smiling, irony and so on may add a layer of meaning which is neither pure body language nor speech.                                          

Eye contact

Since the visual sense is dominant for most people, eye contact is an especially important type of nonverbal communication. The way you look at someone can communicate many things, including interest, affection, hostility, or attraction. Eye contact is also important in maintaining the flow of conversation and for gauging the other person’s response.
Source:Wikipedia

Basic Goals For A Person Who Stutters

By J. David Williams

I can’t tell you how to stop stuttering, which is what you would like. But there are ways that you can stutter more easily, which sound better and make you more comfortable with your speech, and make a better impression on your listener. Listeners react to the way you appear to be reacting to yourself. If you seem to be tense, panicky, and out of control, they will also feel tense, to which you react by becoming more tense and hurried yourself. It’s a circular process that you can learn to control.

The basic idea is to do all of your stuttering with less struggle, tension, and panic. This doesn’t mean to talk more slowly in an effort to avoid all stuttering. Go ahead and speak at your normal rate, but when you feel that you are about to block on a word, slow down at that point and take your time saying the feared word. Don’t give up your effort to say the word, but try to stutter easily and slowly. Relax and let go: keep your lips, tongue and jaw moving gently without jamming. Don’t panic. Take all the time you need. Concentrate on confidence and sense of control. Keep moving forward but move slowly and positively. Resist any feeling of hurry or pressure. At some instant you will know that you are over the hump. Simply finish that word and keep talking along at your usual rate until you start to tense up again for another feared word. Then instantly shift into slow motion again. Many stutterers who originally had very tense, complex patterns of stuttering have worked themselves down to this easy, simple, slow stuttering with little tension or interruption in their speech.

Another technique that I have always found helpful, and used to practice a great deal, is to deliberately repeat the initial sound or syllable of a word on which I felt I might stutter. I made one or several deliberate repetitions before I even tried to utter the word as a whole. The effect was to give me a feeling of control. The listener might think I was really stuttering, but I was not. I was being deliberately disfluent to eliminate any fear of stuttering at that instant. Rather than giving way to panic, tension and struggle, I was doing on purpose something that I usually tried desperately to avoid doing. And it really worked. This technique weakened my fear of stuttering and I felt a delicious freedom and control. It’s an old, old idea: if you are terrified of doing a particular thing, your fear will decrease in proportion to your ability to do at least part of the feared behavior deliberately. And whatever else stuttering is, it is behavior that is increased by your fearful, struggling efforts to avoid doing it. The more I sidestepped uncontrolled tension by throwing in occasional deliberate disfluencies (repetitions or prolongations of sounds) the less I really stuttered.

Deliberate disfluency is a simple thing to do, but you may recoil in horror at the very idea. You may say, “People will think I’m stuttering if I do that!” It’s amazing how we who stutter can hold on to our illusions. We hate and fear stuttering, and try desperately not to stutter. We develop a repertoire of complex denial and avoidance attitudes and behaviors. So the idea of being deliberately disfluent, or publicly displaying what we have spent so much time and energy trying to hide, seems to make no sense. In reality it makes a great deal of sense, but you have to begin to convince yourself of that. People may think you are stuttering when you are being deliberately disfluent, but what do they think when they see and hear you doing your real stuttering? Think about this a bit, and perhaps ask a friend or two their opinion.

As you well know, when you stutter you feel out of control. You are struggling to regain control. The operative word is “struggling.” The more you feel you have to struggle to say a word, the more you are out of control. So anything you do deliberately to reduce tension when expecting to stutter or actually stuttering increases your control. You cannot stutter deliberately; you can only pretend to stutter. So the more you are deliberately disfluent, the less you will actually stutter.

It takes practice to start accepting this idea. Try it first when you are alone. Then try it in easy, non-threatening situations, and analyze your feelings. As you begin to feel more comfortable with your deliberate disfluency try doing it more and more, and in gradually tougher speaking situations. It is very likely to decrease your fear and increase your natural, inherent fluency.

There is no one way to speak, or to handle your stuttering, that is going to guarantee fluency within any specified length of time. The primary goal is to have a feeling that you are actively doing things that decrease your fear of stuttering and give you a sense of control. It’s great to realize that whenever you stutter, there is something you can do about it — relax and delay your stuttering behaviors, introduce some deliberate disfluency to counteract your tendency to panic, or change your pattern of stuttering in any manner that allows you to communicate more comfortably without trying to be perfectly fluent. If you are like most people who stutter, you are much more intolerant of your own “speech failures” than are your listeners. It took me a long time to learn that other people really didn’t care whether I stuttered or not. They liked me or they didn’t, but my stuttering had very little to do with it.

There is still much speculation about the basic cause and nature of stuttering, but one thing is clear: your fear of it is the most disruptive and toughest aspect to deal with. If you weren’t afraid of stuttering, you would not have tried so hard and so ineffectively to deny, conceal, and avoid its occurrence. Fear disrupts rational thinking and voluntary motor behavior, including speech. If your fear of stuttering reaches a critical level at any given moment, it becomes literally impossible for you to carry out any voluntary speech modification techniques you have learned, and you’ll probably stutter as badly as ever.

So an important goal is to learn to keep your fear of stuttering within manageable limits. Try not to give way to blind panic at the approach of a feared speaking situation. You cannot just wish away your old, well-conditioned fear responses, but you can practice overriding the fear. It is always better to go ahead and talk even if you stutter, rather than to remain silent for fear of stuttering. This gives you just a bit more courage the next time!

In practicing changes in your way of stuttering and in reducing your fear of stuttering, you must be “actively patient.” Stuttering did not develop overnight, and you’re not going to make permanent changes overnight. Keep in mind that you don’t cure behavior, you change it. There is no known universally effective medicine for the cure of stuttering. There is only a learning process: learning how to change your speech behavior in desirable ways, and how to develop the right attitudes toward that behavior. Real and permanent change in feelings and behaviors does not happen easily, quickly, or automatically. You have to be active and repeatedly do things that bring about the results you want. You have to be patient. Improvement will come in direct proportion to the amount of active, sustained, daily effort you expend. Many small successes cumulate to produce a more permanent change than does one spectacular event.

Apart from the specific things you can do about your stuttering problem, such as modifying your speaking pattern and reducing your fear and avoidance, there is a more general and more basic goal. You need to increase your self-esteem and to enjoy life to the fullest. Stuttering is never fun, but it is only a part of your life, one of many parts. Keep it in per spective. Have a realistic view of the ways in which it may be a handicap and the more numerous ways in which it is not. Develop and capitalize on all your personal assets, your skills and talents. The happier you are in general, the more self-fulfilled you’ll feel, and the less important your stuttering will become.

Identify with people, and accept the fact that you are a qualified member of the human race. Have an “approach” rather than an “avoidance” attitude toward others. Remember that everyone has feelings of inadequacy and insecurity for one reason or another, no matter how they appear in public.
An emotional common denominator among all people is much more likely to be anxiety and a sense of inadequacy rather than supreme self-confidence and superiority. Anxiety and feelings of worthlessness keep you from enjoying life. They diminish positive, outward-looking attitudes, and practically wipe out any healthy sense of humor.

Way back, I did a good deal of self-modification of my stuttering, and I gradually overcame much of my fear, shame and avoidance. Slowly, with many ups and downs, I became more fluent and I enjoyed life more and more. I became aware that I was making phone calls without thinking twice about them, and speaking easily in many other situations that used to make me break out in a cold sweat. It felt wonderful, and still does when I stop to think about it. Mostly I just communicate with people without fear or struggle. I still stutter slightly, but it has long ceased to be a real problem. Occasionally, after one speaking situation or another, I’ll think, “Gee, that used to scare the hell out of me.” Then I go back to confronting other and more immediate problems that are the inevitable concomitants of age. Stuttering fades to insignificance.

I have no regrets other than the time and energy I wasted feeling sorry for myself because I stuttered. I think I would have progressed faster in coping with my stuttering problem if I had available the kind of valid, useful literature now produced by the Stuttering Foundation. I encourage all people who stutter to read everything they can about stuttering. In this way they will gradually increase their ability to distinguish between facile promises of unattainable “miracle cures” and solid, time-tested ideas and methods of self-improvement.

As a final suggestion, join or form a mutual-support, self-help group for people who stutter. There are several such groups in America, Europe,asia and elsewhere. They increase motivation for self-therapy, provide social reinforcement and an opportunity for members to learn from one another. I have enjoyed and benefited from such activities for many years.                                                                                                Adapted from material originally developed by the stuttering foundation of ameica.